The following post from our forum is from a man trying to decide whether or not to have a tummy tuck operation.
Date: 09/20/2011 Submitted by: MikeMan Trying To Decide Whether Or Not To Have A Tummy Tuck Operation
Hi and thanks for posting about your experience. Like many comments on here, there’s not much web-space for men getting this surgery.
The most I weighed was over 200 and now I’m less than 150. I’m very active – I bike alot and have ran two marathons. I’ve had relationships with girls who I thought are beautiful (prettier than me), but I still look in the mirror and feel gross when I look at my stomach. While I don’t have as much weight loss or excess skin as some pictures I’ve seen, I still have this skin that constantly brings me back to that place of feeling “fat” and “undesirable” and all those other stigmas and personal demons that I had growing up overweight. And to look at me clothed, you’d think I wouldn’t have that concern (I’m would be considered skinny, but when others say that I still can’t hear it).
I am just not sure whether to go through with it. In some ways, I feel like getting rid of the skin will literally and emotionally release some of this. But then I also battle with the whole “I should accept myself and my body for what it is” and spend that money somewhere else. Plus, I try not to be a person that cares only about the physical, yet this seems to make me feel like I would. I have pretty mixed reactions when I ask family and friends. I’ve had some that support me but say that they love me how I am (even past girlfriends) while others say to do it if it will make me happier overall. I’m really torn about what to do and what my true motivation is.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for providing all the details about your surgery.
Date: 09/20/2011 Submitted by: Tanner
I was never faced with the psychological internal debate of what my motivation was. I was never that much of a “deep thinker”. For me it was simply “Do I want to live with the shame of this excess skin for the rest of my life?” and “Will I make it through the surgery OK?”. What other people thought about it didn’t even come into the picture. I never told anyone about the operation until I had made up my mind and had scheduled the surgery.
You indicated that some of you friends and family say they love you the way you are, true enough, but they are not faced with and don’t have to live with the embarrassment associated with the excess skin. It’s not about them, it’s about you.
Since you have so much hesitation and worry about this you may want to seek advice from some type of independent counselor (other than friends and family) to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and give you peace of mind. If you are this unsure about it now, think of the worry and torture you will put yourself through thinking about it from the time you finally do decide until after the operation. Worrying before a surgery is not a good way to go into an operation. Peace of mind and positive attitude does a lot when it comes to undergoing and recovering from surgery.
My Advice Would Be:
1. Make some appointments and go to a few tummy tuck consultations with different surgeons. During your consultations tell them of your concerns and see what they say or what they recommend. The consultations are free or cheap and they will provide you lots of insight and knowledge. You don’t commit to anything at the consultation. The doctor or staff my refer you to others who can help with your decision making process.
2. Don’t commit yourself to the surgery until you have made peace with your decision.
3. You may want to address the issue of scars before you have the operation. Your embarrassment of having excess skin may be over with after you have your surgery but you will be faced with a new (although lesser) problem of visible scars. It is the lesser of two evils.
About My Operation:
I am delighted with my choice to have the surgery (especially since all went well). After all is said and done, it did give me a better self image of myself. Any shame or embarrassment was gone (except from the remaining scar). I was even told that I had more of a spring in my step when I walked. Bottom line – for me if was well worth it.
Let me know if you need any more information.